Its been over a month that she has passed away. I was on the call with my mom, when she told me that my grandmother was breathing heavily. She had slipped into Coma a day prior to that. While my mom was crying on the call telling she probably won’t survive more then 5 mins, for me none of it was sinking in. I was still in hope that my mom would now tell that my granny miraculously opened her eyes and started talking as if nothing happened. I was still thinking that mom would then pass on the phone to her and she would ask me how i was doing and if i am eating well and taking care of myself. But..none of this happened and my grand mom passed away while i was still on the call. She breathed her last few finally closing her mouth and showing no sign of any movement.
This was the moment that none of us in my family thought would ever happen. Yes she was 88 and we could say,thats probably the right age for people to pass away and move to a better place then earth. But with my granny we never thought of that to be true. She was so full of energy all her life that i would always joke that she is going to outlive each one of us and as insensitive as it may sound but when my mom would tell us about how our house in Mumbai would be equally divided post my parents passing away, i would joke with her saying "why are you telling me all this, this house is anyway going to go to Amama post all of us die”.
We called her Amama with love which also means grand mom in my native language. When i was born she took care of me cause my mom could not have quit her job, she almost took care of me until i was one year old and finally gave up out of fear. I would apparently choke on the milk bottle she would try to feed me with trying to drink all of it at once. Yes, i was like that even when i was one year old. Trying to eat/drink everything at the same time.. She would always tell me these stories time and again with the same enthusiasm and i would every time listen to those stories as if i was listening to them for the very first time.
She had a troubled childhood where her mom passed away when she was 3 years old. She also got married when she was 16.She would also tell stories of her childhood and early marriage to me, not with an intention to complain but more so with an intention to make us realize how better our lives were and that we should try to enjoy it and appreciate its value. She loved her life and the fact that she was alive and living with all the people whom she cared for. If God ever asked her if she wanted to live or die she would not be ashamed of sounding selfish and would very openly say, yes i want to live, live forever.. We all feel that way and wish that for us,and she was not ashamed of being open about that. She dint want to die. Period.
I have at times gotten angry with her for her showing tantrums, tantrums that old people tend to show cause they need that attention from you just like kids do. But now when i look back i feel bad for those moments of anger that i felt in me and i miss my grandmother a lot.
I got to meet her 5 months prior to her passing away and spent some quality time with her. While the world would say and believe that she is no more alive , but to me she has succeeded in achieving what she always wished for her self. I truly believe that she has defied death and will forever stay alive in our hearts. Her stories will forever stay fresh in my mind and i will continue to listen to them with the same enthusiasm as always.
She may have stopped breathing, but even God will have to accept that she defeated him and made him believe that she lives for ever. My grandmother.. My Amama.. 88 and still counting…
-- Ragulee (As she called me with love)
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